Your question hurts my heart. I'm going to respond as a marriage, family, and child therapist.

I COMMEND you for hanging in there and parenting your son, even though you don't feel anything for the boy. That is dedication and shows your intregity as a man and a father.

My question for you is, Do you have deep feelings for anyone?

If you don't, then maybe that's just who you are--a man without emotional depths. You might be extremely logical and/analytical. Maybe that's something you take for granted about yourself. But because you (and everyone else) expected to have an emotional bond with your son, you are noticing the lack.

Others have suggested you seek counseling to see if the problem stems from your own parental abandonment. I also encourage you to do so.

In additon, I suggest is that you STOP questioning your lack of a bond and also STOP criticizing yourself for not feeling connected with your son.

Instead, start acknowledging yourself for being a good father--a tremendously difficult job even with emotional attachment--and accepting yourself for who you are.

Instead of saying to yourself, "I'm a bad man and father because I don't feel for my son." Say, "I'm a good man and father, because I'm doing what's right for my son. I'm proud of myself."

Perhaps without the questioning and recriminations and with being mentally kind and supportive of yourself, then you may find the mental space to development those feelings.

Or you may not.

The other suggestion I have is...as you teach and mentor your son, allow yourself to take pride in his accomplishments. For example, he's struggling with his math homework, and you help him figure out the problem. That's a moment of pride in yourself for your efforts and pride in your son for his accomplishment.

No matter what, keep going through the motions of being a good dad!