Making Amends Makes a Difference

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“I can only say I’m sorry so many times.” Indiana Jones, Raiders of the Lost Ark

In discussing apologies with a group of women, one of them said, “I can’t remember the last time, I heard my husband apologize … for anything. (Long pause.) Actually, I can remember the last time. He didn’t mean it.” The other women in the group chorused, “So it doesn’t count.”

What is an Apology?

An expression of remorse.

A way to make amends.

A statement of connection … of reaching out.

The calling of a truce.

A way to show understanding of the pain and/or difficulties caused by…


"White people have stepped away from me in line at Whole Foods." This sentence brought tears to my eyes, a culmination from upset feelings reading the whole article.

My first question to anyone who'd step away from you because you are Asian is WHY? Why would you even THINK of doing that?

For this past year, I've been making an extra effort to smile, nod, and say hi (or in the case of neighbors walking by, call out hi) to Asians who cross my path. I want them to know I see them as fellow humans. I've wanted to counterbalence in a small way the prejudice I know many have experienced, or if they haven't personally experienced it, fear what could happen.

Unfortunately acts of hatred, violence, and prejudice hurt and cause wounds, that no amount of "hi" greetings from strangers can heal.

Thank you for sharing your experience, Yasmin.


Managing Your Mental Health Post-Disaster

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In September of 2020, as large fires blazed across twelve Western states in the U.S., thousands of people were forced to evacuate their homes, and millions more waited, fearful and helpless as the fires approached. Those living in the vicinity of the fires watched the news and wondered if their area would be next.

After the fires were extinguished, people returned home. Some found their houses intact. Others lost homes and/or businesses, forcing them to rebuild their lives from the ashes. …


How to Stay Safe and Sane When a Firestorm Threatens Your Neighborhood

Photo: SvetlanaSF/Shutterstock

Many years ago, I dated a firefighter who stood on my backyard patio and looked down at the brushy, tree-filled slope leading to a local golf course. He turned to me and pointed to the bottom of the hillside.

“If a golfer tosses a cigarette on a windy day, you’ll have about five minutes before the flames reach your house. Before then, make sure you’re prepared to evacuate.”

That warning prompted me to create a mental list of what to take with me — from most to least…

Debra Holland

Debra Holland, M.S., Ph.D, is a psychotherapist, corporate crisis and grief counselor, and New York Times and USA Today bestselling author.

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